Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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