We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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