Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
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