I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
