you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
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