I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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