Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
