just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
You ruined the universe
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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