I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
