I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
