Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
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