I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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