is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
