Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
