My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
