Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
