Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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