the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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