Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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