Don't you send me to vm
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Randomize
