she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
