He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize