I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
It's just like the Real World with babies
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize
