I think im going to throw up on grandma
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
