I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
