..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
