If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
