Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
i out mim tonsoeep
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