doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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