THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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