Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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