Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
