I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
