Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Screwed.edu
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Randomize
