NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
