Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
there's paper in my vomit.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
