This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Randomize
