Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
