i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
