i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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