Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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