Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
