You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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