its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
