Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
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