Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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