Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
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