Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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