New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Randomize
