That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
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