apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
