His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
