Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
