ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
