I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
