i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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