who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I want to fling myself into the sun
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
