And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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