Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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