I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
