I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
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