If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
wow bdsm is so cute
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize