I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
organizing the empties. That sober.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Randomize
