She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
