I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Randomize
